How to organize a funeral?

Organizing a funeral is a complex and emotionally challenging task that anyone may face. At such a time, it is helpful to have a clear and understandable algorithm of actions at hand. Here you will find general, universal information about the key stages of organizing a funeral.

We will focus on describing the process itself, the logic of actions, and the choices one may encounter. It is important to understand that specific rules, the list of documents, the names of institutions, and the cost of services can vary significantly depending on the country, region, or city. This article does not provide legal advice and does not account for all possible local nuances.

The article also does not consider funeral organization from the perspective of a specific religion or tradition, as these aspects are highly individual. We discuss general administrative and logistical steps. Furthermore, the material specifically addresses the process of traditional burial (interment in the ground), not cremation.

Where do we begin?

It is assumed that the first urgent steps are already behind, the fact of death has been officially registered, and you have in your hands the foundational document — the official death certificate. It is issued by the authorized state body registering acts of civil status (which in different countries may be called, for example, ЗАГС, Standesamt, Registry Office, etc.).

If you need information about what to do in the first hours after a person's death, you can refer to our other articles: "What to do if a person dies at home?" or "What to do if a person dies in a hospital?".

How to choose a cemetery?

After the main documents are obtained, one of the first practical questions becomes the choice of a cemetery. If you plan to conduct the burial in the same locality where the deceased lived, it is usually worth considering several options. Here are the key criteria it is recommended to pay attention to.

1. Cemetery status: open or closed

This is a basic distinction that determines the possibility of a new burial.

• Open cemeteries, are typically newer or have reserve land. They usually offer the possibility of obtaining a plot for a new burial. Such cemeteries are often located in less central areas.
• Closed cemeteries are most often historically established burial grounds where all plots are occupied, and new burials are not conducted. Sometimes exceptions are made for secondary burials in an existing family grave (discussed below) or, in rare cases, for persons with special merits to the state or city. This point should be clarified with the administration of the specific cemetery.

2. Practicality and accessibility

Since the burial site will likely be visited for many years, its location is of great importance.

Transport accessibility. It is worth finding out how convenient it is to get to the cemetery by public transport (if there are regular routes) or by private car (quality of access roads, availability of parking).

Grounds maintenance. It is also important how well the cemetery is maintained. Whether garbage is regularly collected, paths are cleared, and the territory is guarded. This affects not only the appearance but also the preservation of monuments.

3. Denominational and traditional factor

If religious aspects are important for you or the deceased, it is advisable to clarify in advance:

• Whether the cemetery has separate sections for representatives of certain denominations (e.g., Muslim, Jewish, Catholic sectors).
• Whether the cemetery management is prepared to conduct specific rites, if they are provided for.

4. The will of the deceased and family ties

Often, a person's last wish may be to be buried next to already deceased relatives (spouse, parents). This can be a determining factor, but it is worth considering the above criteria.

When choosing, it is recommended, if possible, to personally visit the cemetery to assess the general atmosphere, the condition of the territory, and obtain information directly from the administration.

How to choose a plot in the cemetery?

Having decided on the cemetery, it is time to choose a specific plot. This is a responsible step that influences the long-term perspective. To begin, it is useful to understand what placement options generally exist.

What types of burial plots exist?

New (individual) plot. This is a place for the first burial on a chosen piece of land. In the future, it can become the basis for a family (ancestral) burial, if local legislation and cemetery rules allow it.

Family (ancestral) burial. A plot where one or more relatives (spouses, parents, and children) are already interred. In this case, a secondary burial is conducted. For this, certain conditions usually must be met, for example, the expiration of a minimum sanitary period since the previous burial (often 15-20 years) and documentary confirmation of kinship.

Columbarium. A special structure with niches for placing urns with ashes after cremation. Within the scope of this article, dedicated specifically to funerals (burial in the ground), this option is not considered in detail.

How can one obtain a plot?

The mechanisms for obtaining a plot vary depending on local regulations, but their logic can be described as follows:

Free provision of a plot. In many countries and cities, a rule is in effect according to which a local resident is guaranteed a free plot in an open cemetery. It is allocated by the administration based on the document — the death certificate and confirmation of the deceased's registration. An important nuance: with this option, as a rule, one cannot choose a specific location — the plot is allocated in order of priority on available land.

Using an existing plot. If a family burial already exists in the family (the plot was previously purchased as property or obtained for perpetual use), organizing the funeral comes down to coordinating the secondary burial with the cemetery administration and preparing the required documents confirming the right.

Acquiring a plot (purchase). If there is a desire and opportunity to choose a specific, often more convenient or prestigious location, it can be purchased. This can happen through direct application to the cemetery administration, participation in specialized auctions (if such a practice exists), or purchasing the right from the previous owner (where this is permitted). In this case, a contract is concluded, which usually provides not for ownership of the land, but for perpetual or long-term use of the plot for burial. This right almost always entails the obligation to maintain the plot in order.

Practical tips for choosing a specific plot

If you have the opportunity to choose the location, it is worth paying attention to the following details:

Relief and soil. Level plots on a slight elevation are preferable. Obvious lowlands should be avoided, where flooding from meltwater or rainwater is possible.

Vegetation. The proximity of large trees and shrubs may seem like a plus, but over time, spreading roots can damage the foundation of the monument or fence.

Access convenience. A plot located not far from the main alley or entrance facilitates the burial process, delivery of materials for the monument, and subsequent visits, especially for elderly relatives.

Infrastructure. The presence of a source of technical water nearby will significantly simplify future care of the grave.

Neighbors. It is desirable that there are no utility objects (garbage containers) nearby, and also that the plot is not in the first row from the main road (risk of damage during grounds maintenance).

Before making a final decision, it is recommended to obtain from the cemetery administration all information about the rules, terms, and restrictions related to the chosen type of plot.

How to conduct a funeral independently?

This path implies that you take on the main organizational and logistical tasks, coordinating the actions of different services. It may require more time and effort but often allows for detailed control over the process and budget. Here is an approximate order of actions.

1. Coordination with the cemetery and obtaining permission.

The first step is to finally secure the burial plot. For this, it is necessary to contact the administration of the chosen cemetery with the required package of documents (usually your identification document, the death certificate, and, in case of a secondary burial, additional documents). At this stage, the date and time of the ceremony are agreed upon, all permits for conducting the burial are completed, and technical issues are resolved: digging the grave, providing equipment (winch, stretchers) — often these services are paid separately.

2. Preparation for the ceremony.

At this stage, substantive issues are resolved:

• Coffin, clothing, shroud. Purchasing a coffin, choosing clothing for the deceased, and ritual accessories. This can often be done in specialized stores or through services at the morgue.
• Arrangements. Ordering or self-making of funeral wreaths, ribbons, photographs.
• Farewell. If a civil memorial service is planned, the place for its holding (ritual hall, home) needs to be determined and organized.
• Inviting a representative of a religious denomination. Depending on the faith of the deceased or family traditions, a representative of a religious denomination can be invited to conduct corresponding rites.

3. Organizing transport.

Several transport tasks need to be addressed:

• Transporting the body. It is necessary to arrange with the morgue or pathological department for the delivery of the body to the place of the farewell ceremony (if planned) and directly to the cemetery. For this, special transport (hearse) is usually required, which can be ordered separately.
• Transport for close ones. It is worth considering how relatives and friends will get to and from the cemetery. One can organize the rental of a bus or minibus.

4. Organizing the memorial meal (wake).

Independent organization includes: choosing a place (cafe, restaurant, home), composing a menu, ordering or preparing dishes, seating guests.

Key points during independent organization

• Documents. It is important to always have your passport and the original death certificate with you, as they may be required at different stages.
• Schedule. A clear chronological plan for the day of the funeral should be created, coordinating the timing of all participants (morgue, cemetery, transport).
• Support. It is extremely useful to distribute tasks among several close ones to avoid carrying the entire burden alone.

This path requires a high degree of self-organization, but for some, it becomes an important part of the farewell ritual.

How to conduct a funeral through a funeral agency?

Turning to a funeral agency (or funeral service) is a path where the main part of organizational concerns, logistics, and coordination is transferred to professionals. This can significantly reduce the emotional and administrative burden during a difficult time.

After contacting the agency, a personal manager-agent typically gets in touch with you. Their task is to discuss your wishes, budget, and take on the solution of most practical issues. Here is what is usually included in their range of services:

1. Comprehensive organization and consultations.

The agent acts as your coordinator. They:

• Consult on all stages, legal nuances, and local rules.
• Create a detailed plan and estimate.
• Take on interaction with all necessary authorities: the morgue, cemetery administration, transport services.

2. Document processing and coordination.

The agent helps collect the necessary documents or does it for you, and also obtains all required permits at the cemetery, coordinates the date and time of the burial.

3. Provision of ritual goods and services.

The agency usually offers a unified package, which may include:

• Purchase and delivery of a coffin, clothing for the deceased, ritual shrouds, wreaths, ribbons.
• Ordering a hearse, as well as transport for the funeral procession.
• Providing portable stretchers, equipment (winch), organizing a temporary ritual hall for farewell.
• Ordering and installation of a temporary memorial marker (cross, plaque).

4. Coordination on the day of the funeral.

On the day of the ceremony, a representative of the agency is often present in person to ensure the schedule is followed, manage the process at the cemetery, and resolve any arising issues, allowing the close ones to focus on saying goodbye.

Many funeral agencies offer wake organization services as part of a comprehensive package. They can take on: selecting and booking a hall, composing and paying for the menu, organizing service, and even seating guests. This relieves the family of hassle on the day of the funeral.

What to pay attention to when choosing an agency?

• Transparency. It is recommended to request a detailed estimate with itemization to understand what exactly you are paying for.
• Reputation. One can look for reviews, recommendations, or choose a service that operates at a specific morgue or cemetery.
• Contract. All terms and services should be clearly stated in the contract.
• Related services. Some agencies also help with the subsequent installation of a permanent monument, fences, and other services.

The main advantage of working with a funeral agency is saving time, effort, and nerves during a period of acute stress. An agent familiar with all procedures can conduct the organization quickly and clearly, minimizing the risk of errors or delays.

The choice between independent organization and agency services depends on your emotional and physical resources, budget, and personal preferences.

Whom to invite to the funeral?

This question concerns not only logistics but also the emotional side of saying goodbye. There are no universal rules; however, one can be guided by several general principles that help in making a decision.

1. The innermost circle - family and relatives.

Usually, the core of the funeral procession consists of the closest people: the spouse, children, parents, brothers, and sisters of the deceased. The format of the ceremony should first be discussed with them. Often, they take on the role of organizers, informing a wider circle of contacts.

2. Friends and colleagues.

The decision to invite friends, co-workers, or neighbors depends on the character, lifestyle, and will of the deceased themselves, as well as the wishes of the family. In modern practice, information about the time and place of the funeral is often disseminated through personal messages, social networks, or announcements at work. It is important to let people know that their presence would be appropriate but not obligatory.

3. How to inform?

Informing is an important part of the organization. This can be done in several ways:

• In person or by phone — for the closest ones.
• Through group messages or email — for colleagues, classmates, distant relatives.
• Through an announcement in a newspaper or on a specialized online resource — if the circle of acquaintances was wide.
• Through the administration at the workplace or educational institution of the deceased.

In the message, it is sufficient to indicate the name of the deceased, the date, time, and place of the ceremony.

4. What is important to consider?

• Scale. It is worth realistically assessing your strength and capabilities for organizing the process. A large number of people requires clearer coordination of transport and, possibly, the subsequent wake.
• The will of the deceased. Sometimes a person expressed wishes during their lifetime about whom they would like to see at their funeral or, conversely, asked for only a narrow circle. If possible, this should be taken into account.
• Practicality. If the cemetery is located far away or access to it is limited, this may affect the decision to invite elderly relatives or people with disabilities.

It is worth inviting those whose presence will be perceived as support, not a burden.

Conclusion

Organizing a funeral is a difficult path that one has to walk through during a period of grief and confusion. This article gives you the opportunity to see a general map of possible actions and reduce the feeling of uncertainty.

The main thing to remember is that there is no ideal or only correct scenario. The choice between independent organization and agency assistance, the decision about the scale of the ceremony, the format of the wake — all of this is deeply individual and depends on your strength, circumstances, the wishes of the deceased, and the cultural context.

Key takeaways from this material:

1. The starting point — having the official death certificate in hand.
2. Choosing the cemetery and plot — a practical stage where it is worth considering the cemetery's status, accessibility, the type of plot (new, family), and the conditions for obtaining it (free, by right, for a fee).
3. Two main paths of organization — independent, with personal control over details, and delegated, with the help of a funeral agency that takes on logistics and coordination.
4. The circle of participants is determined by closeness to the deceased and your capabilities; informing should be clear and timely.
5. The wake — an important part of saying goodbye, which can be conducted in different formats, from a home meal to organization at a cafe.

Try, if possible, to distribute tasks among close ones — you do not need to bear this burden alone. Administrative steps, however complex they may seem, are a form of final care, the last thing we can do for a loved one.

Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve. Practical organization is only part of the path to acceptance and remembrance.